I think we all have moments when things all of a sudden make sense....maybe after reading something profound, having an insightful conversation with a friend, or like me...by watching Oprah. Since becoming a mother, Oprah has become one of my best friends. I love her. I think she is insightful, and has guests on that are meaningful and interesting. Today her show is about being overweight and having food addiction problems. The author who was on, wrote Women Food and God. She explains how people turn to food to mask pain, or fill a void. Of course.... it never helps the situation. Obsessions give you something to do, something to focus on....other than having your heart shattered by a feeling.
It spoke to me because although I do not have a problem with food....other than the occasional Mcdonald's craving..... I have back pain. Actually various pains. It moves from my back, to my leg, to my shoulder to my knee...and so on. A little history here....I have been to every doctor I could find over the years and at times I spent weeks in bed, immobilized. I was told herniated disks were the cause of my pain. 3 of them to be exact, and that I would need surgery.
Finally a dear and close personal acquaintance said to me...read this book Healing Back Pain I think it fits you perfectly. So I read it...what could it hurt...I was just laying around anyway. This book was written by the brilliant Dr. Sarno, and it suggests that back pain is another way of masking deep emotional pain. The pain is caused to divert the mind from thinking about what is bothering you emotionally. It is real pain, but in short, nothing but a distraction. Long story short....I devoured all the books he wrote, had about 50% improvement in my pain...but was having trouble breaking through...so I looked up Dr Sarno on-line. Since he is based out of NYU....I called him...what the hell...and I got an appointment!! I went through his program and after a few months...I was almost pain free. I am not sure I will ever 100% be free from the FEAR of the Pain...but now I have the tools to work through it and get rid of it time and time again.
I am also very susceptible to influence. Many people do not believe in this and that can make my mind waiver. Hearing stories of others having pain, and how it disrupts their lives affects me. Getting upset over something in a relationship...can cause a severe pain out of nowhere. Today I wound up with a sharp pain in my neck and shoulder. It only lasted about 2 hours and I was able to will it away by the time Olivia woke up from her nap.
My transition from Corporate life to Stay at Home mommyhood is all consuming right now. When my switches overload, and I do not recognize that the surge is coming....BAM....pain...damn it.
I am so happy to watch this Oprah today....God really does give you what you need, when you need it. We just have to be open to hearing it. It reminded me that we all have our pain...our food...our drug....the question is, what is it covering up? That is where the problem lies, and I am so thankful that I know my trigger and have been given to tools to work through my "issues" to become a better, happier, pain free person. I was reminded that writing helps me every time...it is like my therapy. So I thought, why not here...so I can share it.
It will be my lifelong battle, but one I intend on winning...every time.
